Saturday, September 13, 2014

Little Pleasures :)

Pictured above is a little garden  ornament that I've placed to greet people when they walk near the petunia bed.  We all need to be reminded from time to time that there is always hope.  No matter what anyone says never give up on hope.  And then I took a picture last night of Sneakers, our 15 year old cat ...younger son's cat to be specific.

I'm heading out to Costco.  I just love that store.  Everything feels right with the world when I shop there.  I don't know why exactly.  I mean I can think of better places to have fun shopping in.  I guess I like the diversity in choices.  Oh and the quality of the food ..and the organic options too.  The prices don't hurt either.  And lets not forget my beloved Kirkland paper towels and Kirkland tuna fish.  You just have to try their tuna.  If you do you will never go back to the name brands again.  Today I'm focused on cheese and chicken ...among other things.  :)

The kids are staying overnight tonight and so it will be a fun family night.

And I don't want to think about negative things right now.  No news negativity.  Nope - not letting those thoughts in.  Of course the fact that I am stating this means I am thinking about things ...but after this ..that's it!

I'm also in the process of making some important changes in my life ...personal ones.  'Tis a good thing.  :)

Well ...Happy Weekend to all!  :)

PS - And I am embracing the little pleasures of life ...the many little things that we all appreciate during the day.  It's important to experience and appreciate the small pleasures that come our way.  Actually ...I've been doing that during the entire summer.  One thing stands out and I will do a separate little post on that.  Now it's almost fall and their is much to enjoy at this time of year.  :)

La vie est faite de petit bonheaurs.  :)

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I Haven't Forgotten (But GRATEFUL for the Good Outcome)

No ...I'm not manic ...putting up a funny post as I did last night's previous post ...then followed by this sort of sad one regarding something I am dealing with.  Yesterday's significant laughter was the first since then.  I mean the hearty laughter we experience when something is exquisitely funny.  I needed that.  Laughter is a merry medicine for the heart ...for our spirits.  Even today ...I broke down in tears when again apologizing to someone over the incident.  It haunts me ...especially when I first wake up in the morning.  They understood and forgave the day it happened ...but I just cannot.  :(

Anyway ...I also haven't forgotten to write follow up posts on the endometrial biopsy or the mag III renal scan.   On the latter ...I definitely have to speak with my doctor.  His not calling tells me I had good results on the scan but that absolutely surprises me given how the test went and what happened.  And so of course I should call in case the nuclear staff didn't notate anything ...but ...I'm just not ready to ...yet.  I did forget that I have to do repeat ultrasounds for a gynecology issue that I was cleared of.   The paperwork has been sitting on our hutch for at least a week and I've yet to schedule said tests.  I still think I am alright and I am just not in the mood to do these tests either.  Of course I will.  And I have to tell you that the idea of my having to repeat that biopsy is unnerving.  And possibly another procedure IN THE OFFICE that my doctor says hurts less then the biopsy, but for the love of God can inserting a camera device hurt less then the endometrial biopsy???  I had to have misunderstood that.  Right?   I am wrestling with getting a second opinion if I have to do it again ...but I feel guilty doing it because he assisted in the delivery of my second son and I don't want to offend him.  But if you ever had an endometrial biopsy in the office and it hurt you to the point of feeling traumatized ...then you understand my concern.

All that being said ...something really BAD happened last week.  We are all alright but the situation was not ...alright and I know I have to forgive myself and I am trying... but every morning I wake up with the memory ...and I think about it during the day.  To say that it was a bad, bad situation and that is an understatement.

I am not trying to be cryptic.  I am working up the courage to write about this most painful and irresponsible event that has ever happened in my entire life.  It had a good outcome but is CHILLING to my core when I think of what did happen and what almost happened.  :(  :(  :(

And I guess that compared to what happened ...those procedures pale in comparison.  Everything does.  Every concern I have pales in comparison and I will be forever grateful for the GOOD outcome. 

I wish I could forget ...just block it from my mind ...and I hope I never forget.

It is a painful state of mind ...even though I know to focus on and be grateful for the positive ...the good outcome ...not much thanks to me.

I do want to bring good out of it.  It is just so personal because it is the worst failure of my life that could've cost someone theirs.  Telling my story may help prevent others from making the same stupid ...mindless mistake.  That is my prayer.

And speaking of prayer ...I have said THANK YOU to God so many times and I will be forever grateful to him ...forever.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I Didn't Mean to Shock Him ...

 Osho picture quotes - Laughter is such a healthy exercise. somebody.. - Inspirational quotes

...but I am still chuckling even now.

I was also was laughing out loud while driving on the highway back home and didn't care what other drivers thought if they happened to notice. Ha ha!  And I wasn't the only one laughing when it happened.  Actually ...I wouldn't even have known about it if not for the woman that saw it.  :)

So what happened?

I was at the hair salon and I was reclined back in the chair as my stylist was washing my hair.  I was regaling her and the 2 other women at the sink next to me with what has transpired in our house since Sunday with the darned YELLOW JACKETS!  And I was at the point where I was telling them how unexpectedly a bee came buzzing by my hair and ear last night and I ran through the kitchen to get away ....SHRIEKING, "OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!"  And believe me when I tell you I was totally girly shrieking at an extremely ear piercing, high pitch like little girls often do.  You know that pitch that goes right through your ears?  Well evidently my thinking a bee is dive bombing me evokes the same highpitchedgorighthroughyourears sound from yours truly.  I know that shriek jolted Mr SeaSpray.

So ...I reenacted the situation for the women.  While she was washing my hair ..I raised my hands up by my face, palms facing outward and waving frantically from side to side while simultaneously  SHRIEKING, "OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!"  just as if the bee was still chasing me.

However fate would have it ....the salon owner, a very tall ....seemingly calm man ....opened the door from the outside veranda and at exactly the point he stepped inside (directly in front of and close to me), is when I shrieked with my accompanying animation!  I had no idea, but my stylist began cracking up.  I must've really shocked him.  I mean really ...the man was just relaxing on his salon veranda.  But then as he walks back into his workplace ...thinking everything is the status quo, and surely recognizing his familiar client of at least 15 years ...but suddenly said familiar client is animated and shrieking the second he steps inside.  My stylist said it couldn't have been timed any better.   LOL!  LOL!  LOL!  

I wish I could've seen his face.  I'm sure it was a real Candid Camera Moment.  :)  I'm still chuckling, giggling and sometimes my shoulders even heave in laughter.  Maybe it is one of those had to be there moments and know who the people are ...but it was funny.  :)

And I do feel bad that I probably scared him ...but I can't help laughing either.  We all were.

Thankfully he walked away smiling.  :)

LOL!  LOL!  LOL!  

I know ...bad SeaSpray ...BAD!


PS - I didn't mean to take God's name in vain with the OMGs.  I am usually very good about that.  However I did say it.  I have cried out one, "Jesus!", for a in office ureteral stent removal or 2 endometrial biopsies because of the pain and I was inn no way using His name as a swear word ...but rather as, "HELP!"   The ultimate cry for help from the one who could best help me endure at the time.

 I was just so afraid of being stung flew out of me.  (No pun intended.)

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

What Does a Capped Foley Catheter, a Traffic Jam, Valets MIA and a Bewildered Nurse Have in Common?


A SeaSpray is what.  :)

I'm not going to discuss the specifics of my Mag III with Lasix renal scan experience until I've spoken with my urologist.  But I will share the events leading up to it as soon as I can.

I've been very busy with my grandchildren, an elderly aunt's 81st birthday celebration, Labor Day and enjoying the pool before we close it.  The latter seems like a mini miracle because the weather has been so cool for most of the summer and the water too cold to enjoy.  Cold water is refreshing to swim in but not when the air is also cold.  It was like having fall in the summer.  It was great as far as feeling comfortable but not so great for swimming ...or the tomatoes.

Two nights ago I spent the night in the pool for the first time all summer.  Well not the night.  I mean swam at night.  And last night little Wrenna ...the mermaid and I went night swimming.  She thought that was so special.  We loved it and were laughing so hard as a heavy rain poured down on us while were in the pool.  It came down so hard that it was also splashing back up on us from the water.  It was fun.  :)

And our younger son is moving back home for awhile and so now we have to reorganize, pack and make room again.  All three children will start school tomorrow and all with different schedules.  I will miss having Wrenna around but will have nice one on one time with Myles on some days that he isn't in preschool.

Also, I have a summer project that I've thoroughly enjoyed and want to take a video to share with you when I can.

So far as "What Does a Capped Foley Catheter, a Traffic Jam, Valets MIA and a Bewildered Nurse Have in Common?," and the scan experience .....

To be continued ....

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Painful, Scary Renal Scan .. and Some Laughs too

 The blow from the humpback whale splashed back down on its back

Yeah ...I always laugh when I am grabbing my flank when in exacerbating pain.  About a #6 pain to be almost specific.  No that wasn't funny.  But some other things were ...or so ridiculous that I am laughing in retrospect.  What a day!

Anyway ...on the way home I was pondering how I should write this post.  Should I just write one long post beginning with the elevator ride up to the urology office?  Then write a blow by blow of events?  Who says blow by blow anymore?  Do you ever hear that expression used?  I never do.  Obviously once upon a time I did and it apparently just surfaced from the information long buried in the dark recesses of my mind. Now I'm seeing whales ...which the way ...have nothing to do with my day.  I guess it is because they have blow holes and so ...well can see the connection.

Suffice it to know that I mostly believe I am fine.  I'd feel even better if I didn't feel sore now.  And btw is quite illogical that I could possibly have any kind of stricture because as stated in previous post has been 3 years and 5 months or so since I had the last ureteral stent removed.  What?  N-o-w ureter is gonna say, "Whoa-a-a!  It's been 3 years, 5 months or so since that last stent.  I've worked hard to fight that unwanted, obnoxious scar tissue squatter ...that tried to take up residence so many times.  True ...I have nice accommodations ...but we and I, SeaSpray ...can't have that.  But ...I  must've been daydreaming or something.  Ya can't blame me ...I mean all those lovely  rhythmic peristalsis of smooth muscle tissue in my walls moving your whizzie winkles through must've put me in la-la land.  Oops - sorry SeaSpray."

Nah ...I know that didn't really happen.  But I really have imagined conversations between my internal organs.   I'm not sure what that says about me.  :)  Well that's for another post.

But I digress.

Enough with my inane humor.  Great coping mechanism ..and amuses moi.  :)

I am hoping it was just a mistake but if it was am I gonna have to do it over again?  Seriously!

I am actually quite tired now.  It was a long day and then I shopped at Costo after the test and didn't get in until 9ish.  But we do have some delicious raspberries and strawberries ...and Kirkland paper towels ...and stuff.   I do love Costco.  All is right with the world after shopping there.  :)

Okay ...I will write about the entire day when I return.

The kids are coming over bright eyed and bushy tailed early in the morning.  I am planning a swimming day since the water is warmer now.  It's been so cold that swimming was not doable for at least half of the summer, unless you like swimming with the polar bears.  And even that would be refreshing except we've had cool temperatures during the day and even colder at night.  I didn't even blow up the raft this summer.  Any tan I have is from playing outside with the kids or gardening.  I was bummed tho that we finally had a really hot day and I had to go do the renal scan.  I almost called out a couple of days ago for a health reason and I confess that I really wanted to today just because it was hot and would be a great pool day.  "I'm sorry urodoc ...I can't come in today because it's hot out and I want to go swimming.  I'm sorry hospital ...I am canceling my expensive test today so I can go swimming."  I'd never do that.

Well ...I want to get that bacon on before they get here ...and eggs, so we can get outside early and make the most of the warm weather that we are finally having.  Time to close these baby blues.  :)

And I want to write about the scan while fresh in my mind.  I guess I just didn't want to write thoughtfully tonight.  While I hope it is because she made a mistake ...I hope it didn't cause any damage, etc.  Now that I am still and feeling my flank and bladder is causing me to wonder.  Can't wait to hear from urodoc.  Or actually news is good news.

Okay I can't wait to not hear from urodoc.

Time for bed.  :)

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Drawn to This Photo

Light shining through clouds Photo credit

What a beautiful picture.  And mystical.  I can imagine that being a portal between heaven and earth.  Oh wouldn't it be neat if we could see past the veil ...into the spirit world?  Well ...I'd only want to see the good things and not evil.  My mind's eye sees angels traversing through this portal.  :)

Monday, August 25, 2014

Time For the Mag III Renal Scan With Lasix (follow-uo) - Revised with pictures

The pictures above are this SeaSpray's view during the renal scan in 2012.  The renal scan pictures always remind me of a galaxy ...far ...far ...away.  :)  I also always try to figure the test out but frankly ...I'm so clueless. I also ask staff but they don't give up any info either.  I can at least deduce that the brightest spots once the lasix is introduced is the urine collecting after the lasix has been given halfway through the test.  The good news is that even though it may slow down a bit in my right kidney always moves all the way through now.  And who knows ...maybe this year the numbers will be even better.  :)

I am supposed to have the Mag III renal scan with lasix on Wednesday.  Supposed to being the operative words.  Something else physically has come up - so stupid really ...but I want to feel good when doing the test.  Hopefully this will resolve by tomorrow morning because I have to decide.  I also would n-e-v-e-r intentionally cancel so close to an appointment unless I had a good reason and also would not cancel a big test so close to the scheduled date.  I am really bummed about this because it also involves a certain amount of psyching myself up to do it and I just want to get past it.  I am still believing for a good report, but admittedly I am always wanting to know what those kidney function numbers are.  They have been going up the last couple of years since 2010.  And I also want to know because at some point - soon hopefully I will be having knee replacements and it is imperative that I never have a relapse that could cause an infection in my body because one orthopedic doctor told me if that happened I would automatically be put on prophylactic antibiotics for 2 years and if new knee got infected would have to come out.

All that being said ..the fact is that my last stent came out on March 17th, 2011.  Since it has now been 5 months and 8 days since said stent was removed and I haven't had any relapses just HAS to mean I am healed.  I would be shocked if it happened now.  A relapse with my right ureter.

But ...I am still glad to get those numbers before surgery.

It took me a long time to believe I was healed.  Truthfully ...even now if I feel certain sensations in certain areas ...relapse goes through my mind but I do move past those thoughts quickly.  I must remember to clarify that with my urodoc.  But I do recall him saying that people with hydronephrosis may always feel some aching.  Which would explain it then.  But I thought that was healing too because if I am recalling correctly my kidney has not stayed enlarged.

Anyway ...I have to decide by tomorrow.
PS - it occurs to me that I had forgotten about posting on my not-so-fun endometrial biopsy experience.

*Mental note made.